vino. stat.

Motherhood is hard.   We all know it and we know to expect sleepless nights, worrying, uncertainty, guilt, and a general feeling of making it all up as you go on.  

None of that surprised me.   What I really did not expect was my complete inability to figure out my children's napping routines.   I could never get Baby Girl on a napping schedule.   Her daycare did the best they could with her and it was  better than anything I could do.   But neither them nor I could ever get her on a good routine and the weekend naps were a crapshoot at best.

My Little Man is even worse than she was, and I really think it's because he is not in daycare.  (Shock! Daycare could actually be GOOD for children?  Heresy).   Regardless of the reason why,  the fact is he will not nap.   If he happens to fall asleep in the car, I can sometimes get an hour out of him.   Other than that,  it just doesn't happen.   As I write this, he is screaming at the top of his lungs in his crib and has been doing so for the past 20 minutes.   He's exhausted.  He fell asleep while I was carrying him upstairs.   He almost face planted into his yogurt.    He was rubbing his eyes so hard I thought he was going to temporarily blind himself.   However, the second I put him in his crib he starts screaming bloody murder.   Short of driving him around for an hour twice a day,  I really don't know what to do.  I was never able to figure it out for my girl, and I'm even worse at it for the boy.  I never knew that naps would be my biggest challenge, and the one I was never able to figure out. 

If today follows the typical pattern,  he will cry off and on in his crib for an hour before he finally falls asleep for about 25 minutes.   If he would take a bottle I'd probably be slipping some melatonin in it. 

I think naps may be my biggest failure as a mother to date.  Since it's both kids, I have to think it's me and not them.   I've tried everything I can think of, I've read different books,  I've asked other mothers, I've gotten desperate enough to strap him into the car and drive around on multiple occasions.  Nothing works for this kid.

I can't wait till he outgrows the need to nap.