Friday, December 28, 2012

introducing Goldie

This is the newest member of the O'Girard household.   Look 3/4 of the way down on the right - see her?  That's Goldie,  our Beta fish.   That was the first day home and she hadn't started eating the food that makes her so colorful so she's a bit washed out.   Also,  I Instagramed that picture so the colors are wonky.


That's Goldie today, 2 days of eating her special food and non Instagrammed.  She's still about 3/4 of the way down to the right side. 


Let me tell you the story of how Goldie came to live with us.

After Christmas dinner, my family does a Yankee Swap to cut down on the amount of presents we were buying.   Included in this Yankee Swap are myself, Andrew,  my brother and sister-in-law, my parents, my grandmother, my aunt, and my three cousins and their significant others.    One of my cousins has a serious girlfriend who has been coming to family events for years.  Years and years.   Sometimes I do forget that they are not yet married (if they even want to get married).

Important to the story =  we do not play the Yankee Swap according to the traditional rules, we have developed our own unique spin on how to play it over the years.   The whole thing will not make sense if you don't know that part.

So.

My brother's number was called and he picked a present from under the tree.  A beta fish tank and some fish food.   Um...  okay.... weird, right?

Then one of my cousins asks my niece to come help him with something.  They go downstairs and she comes back up holding a small container.  With a fish in it.   Everyone laughs.   No one wants to end up with the fish.  My brother practically has steam coming out of his head.

I wasn't paying attention to this next part,  but apparently my cousin's girlfriend (NOT the cousin who brought the fish... a different one) took a present from my sister-in-law that my brother apparently wanted. I don't know what it was.  I was going after the movie tickets,  maybe they were too?  I was occupied with my Little Man during this part.

All I know is my brother (who still had the fish) was OF COURSE the last picked to switch his present.  OBVIOUSLY THE MAN WITH THE LIVE ANIMAL GOES LAST.

My brother was out to get my cousin's girlfriend for her transgression of taking something from his wife.

Before you think my brother is some kind of sociopath,  you also need to know that we (as a family) think it's hysterical to "get" people in Yankee Swaps.   It doesn't matter what you end up with,  as long as you royally screw someone over in the process.   Feuds have been known to last years (seriously.  Ask my father's cousin.  I went after him for YEARS.   I'd wager it closed in on a decade)

My brother, as you remember HAD A FISH.  A FISH. 


A few seconds later,  who had the fish?  My cousin's girlfriend.

She was aggravated when she got to my parents house.  They had been running around all day to different family members houses all over New England and had hit some  traffic in the process.  It was late.  She was frazzled.  And now she owned a Beta Fish.

Enter Baby Girl. 

Baby Girl decided she loved this stupid fish.  She named her Goldie.  She got to feed the fish.  She decided the fish wanted to live with her.  She was told by my cousin's girlfriend she could take her home.   And I honestly felt bad for them since they had run around all day to end up with a freaking fish.  I didn't want her to walk away from Christmas being annoyed with my family. 

So I switched my present, which was a cute wine holder with a seashell motif  and a matching wine stopper,  for a fish.

Guess who doesn't care about the fish anymore?  Right.   Baby Girl.

Guess who now has a new fish?  Right.  Me.

Guess who doesn't want a fish?  Right.

My brother is going down next year.   And the year after that.  Maybe when my Little Man is in college I will give up. 

Maybe not. 


1 comment:

gsnapped said...

I'm confused on how it all went down, but I'll not require another version; I'll simply share in your righteous indignation and suggest a new name for Goldie. Alpha. Alpha the Beta fish.