riding in my car...

I have a really long commute - usually about 65, sometimes 70 minutes. It's awful. Not what I signed up for, but beyond my control.

In order to make the afternoon commute better, I usually listen to books on tape. I tried NPR, but NPR from 4pm - 5pm, the 60 minute span that I am in my car, is not very good. It's the middle of All Things Considered which isn't always interesting. So books on tape (er.. books on CD actually) it is. I don't always listen to books that I would normally read, but my library doesn't have a huge selection of audio books so often times I just have to take what I can get.

This all brings us to this morning. Normally, my morning commute isn't too bad. I get on the highway at 6:30 and go against traffic. I eat my Fiber One bar (mmmm... oats and chocolate), drink my DD iced coffee, and listen to the local pop station's morning show. I've been listening to that morning show since I was in 4th grade. The host is now in his mid 60's, hates pop music, constantly complains that he doesn't have a sports radio show, and constantly interrupts the entertainment report because he never knows who anyone is or what TV show they are talking about. I love it. Best morning show in Boston.

BUT.... I hate when the host isn't in and they play the "best of" clips. And he apparently had the morning off today, so that's what was on.

(GETTING TO THE POINT NOW) Ergo and henceforth, I put in my audio book I got from the library a few days ago. It's a book called Somebody Else's Daughter. I'm only a few chapters in, and I already know this is not a book that I'll like. This morning as I was listening to the narrator read the prologue which is just a letter a father wrote to his (I'm assuming) adult daughter about her first few weeks of life and the pain of giving her up for adoption, and him physically handing her over to her adoptive parents, I lost it. Sobbing in the car. Not just my eyes welling up with tears - actual gut wrenching, not being able to breathe sobs. And then I had to walk into my office. After crying for an hour.

Over a book.

A non-fiction book.

I was a real prize this morning. Puffy red eyes. Splotchy face. Ragged breathing.

I think next time I should just put on another morning show.