Oscars 2009, by Meghan

8:26 - just spelled my own name wrong in the title. This might be a long night.

8:30 - I'm thinking pretty hard about it, and I don't think I've seen a single movie with Hugh Jackman

8:31 - love Kate Winslet. Love her.

8:32 - first recession joke. Like these people are remotely effected by it. But the Hugh Jackman song is pretty good.

actually it's really good. And Anne Hathaway can sing. Who knew? Though she'll always be Princess Mia to me. Can't say I love her dress though.

Okay, I'll accept that as an opening act. I have a new found respect for Hugh Jackman, but I still probably won't see his movie until he stops playing Marvel superheroes.

8:43: Oh, Whoopi. no no no no. Who dressed you? You look as pregnant as I feel. But you're still really funny, so I'll forgive you. And does Cate Blanchett scare anyone else?

8:50: Just had a great idea - they shouldn't let people accept awards anymore - then we don't have to listen to the speeches and the whole show will be over in an hour. Just have the presenter bring the statue to their seat. For those sitting in the middle, people can just pass it down the row, like buying a hotdog at Fenway.

8:54: And we've made fun of Scientology. I think the night can end here and everyone would be happy. On that note, Tina Fey's dress is stunning.

9:01: first award to Slumdog Millionaire. Still haven't seen it, but I do want to. Maybe by the time the 82nd Oscars are on I'll have done so.

9:16: How is Sarah Jessica Parker SO SKINNY?? Love the dress, but isn't she a smidge old for it?

9:24: I hate speeches that are just obscure people rattling off names. Save everyone the annoyance and just say thank you.

9:25: The kid from Twilight always looks slightly creepy. I don't see why all the tweens lurve him so much.

9:32: I have to admit, it took me a minute to get the Ben Stiller/Joaquin Phoenix joke. What do we think about the real Joaquin Phoenix - real or elaborate hoax? (and another award to Slumdog Millionaire)

9:38: aaaaaand the preggo just teared up at the Mastercard commerical with the dog going across country to find his family. Priceless.

9:39. Jessica Biel. The Fuck? Who told you that dress was pretty? Just a FYI, they were lying to you.

9:45: another recession joke. They just aren't funny coming from rich people. Also, my brother went to college with a kid that looks like James Franco. And Seth Rogan is funny.

9:56: so not loving the musical performance. Though, damn, Beyonce can sing.


Okay, as is my fate every year, I must go to bed before the big awards are given out. Live TV just isn't fair to the East Coast. Oh well, I haven't seen a single movie that is up for Best Pictue anyway!