The first cut is the deepest

The fact that I am closer to 30 than to 20 makes me sad. I'm not young anymore. Okay, I'm not saying 25 is old. I know I still have the majority of my life ahead of me, but I have laugh lines around my eyes (I refuse to call them crows feet if they are only there when I laugh). Those are new. I supposed I have the endless summers I spent sailing and on boats to thank for that. I wouldn't trade those summers for the world, but I think my face is a little worse for the wear now. I slather on sunscreen all summer long now, but when you are 12, you're hardly worrying about re-applying because in 13 years you're going to have wrinkles around your eye (laugh lines, they are LAUGH LINES). Ahhh.... Those summers. What a different world they were. But as Buffett has told me a billion and seven times: I have too much to see waiting in front of me, and I just can't look back for too long. I've been dwelling lately. I need to stop. What I need is a vacation, but time, money, and the fact that I don't have more then 4 days in a row off from school until December is hindering that plan. But my god, do I need one. I also think I need to spend about an hour on the treadmill, but this cold has been keeping me from the gym. Holding in the coughing last night so I wouldn't cough all over Alexia and Liana absolutely killed me. Ultimately I didn't cough on anyone. Or even in the house when the babies were there. But I feel like I'm 10 times worse today than I was yesterday. And I can't call in to work. The thought is inconceivable to me... I'd be so far behind that the stress would do more harm than staying home would do me good.

I'm going to lie on the couch and watch Lifetime. Till next time

I would have given you all of my heart