this morning

This was a rough morning. I had to get Baby Girl up and out of the house and to daycare on time. This is not my normal responsibility, it is always Andrew's job. Even on the days I work from home, I try to not to interfere with their normal routine, otherwise baby girl senses that this is a different sort of day and she wants to stay home. But this morning I had no choice, Andrew isn't here to do it.

It was a huge failure.

I overslept. By the time I got my baby out of her crib, it was 7:30. Baby Girl needs to be at school at 8, and I can't have her be late because I need to work. The morning schedule was messed up, I had to give her a Nutragrain bar for breakfast instead of her normal waffle, I had to pick her up and drag her to the car with her crying "no Mama! My do! My do!" the whole way. I had to drop her off in her classroom, the room she's had a hard time going back to after vacation last week, and she clung to me, buried her face in my shoulder and cried. I let her cry for a few minutes, but I had to go. Staying there with her was only making it worse. I had to peel a crying 2 year old off me and hand her over to a teacher and walk out the door. That sucks. It sucks in a way that you can't understand unless you are (or were) a parent of a child in daycare.

As much as I want to stay home and be with her all day, I can't. I have to work. I don't' want to, but I have to. Usually the fact that her daycare is fabulous and she's flourishing there gets me through it. She's learned so much and has been exposed to so many things - I'm thankful we have such a wonderful childcare facility, and that we can afford it. But mornings like today make me want to quit, let my condo go into foreclosure, and live on the street so I don't have to do a drop off like that ever again!