Dear Child Sleeping In My Baby's Crib:
While you look exactly like my Baby Girl, you clearly cannot be her. My baby is full of smiles and giggles, and you, demon child, are full of anger and unhappiness. You grumped during playtime, whined during dinner, had many diva moments during bathtime, and pushed me away during your last bottle, but freaked the eff out when I took the bottle away. I'm not really sure where you were going on that last one. Please return my happy smiley baby.