Stick it to the man!

It's amazing what a good review can do to you.

I got my annual review last Friday. I did great. I had a really good year. I won awards (and the bonus for that award allowed me to go Cali last August). My production was through the roof. My bosses noticed the effort I was putting in. I mentored new hires. I trained people on new technology - after I taught myself how to use it. You'd have thought I was the CEO from my review. Then I saw my "merit increase". Then I saw my "merit bonus". Umm.... WHAT? It was less than I hoped for, let's put it that way.

I walked back to my desk trying to reason in my head how a good review can turn into a crappy raise. How my bonus, after taxes and 401(k) contributions, will barely put a dent into my former plans for it. What happened? This is not why I work 12 hour days, random Saturdays, and at home. This is not why I am killing myself to get my MBA. Please don't tell me that the 40 minutes of sobbing after my statistics class gave me that raise. This is not why I am putting my dream of being a mother on hold (but not forever, I know I cant put it off for too much longer, I know, I know, I know. Leave me alone) Please don't tell me all this is for nothing.

And I got a good review. But yet, since Friday I've been putting in MORE effort. Because clearly, something isn't going right. I'm obviously missing something. I work for a decent company. I've seen worse, and they definitely have pretty good perks. But I'm not putting everything on the line for them. I'm not going to put off having kids for them - and I'll take every one of those 12 weeks the government allows me to take, THANK YOU VERY MUCH. I am going to leave early when I have class, and no, I'm not coming in any earlier than 7:30. But I do a lot for them. A LOT. And I'm not feeling very appreciated. After my good review.

Can you imagine if I got a bad review?